Confidence: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Build the Kind You Really Want

Confidence.
What is it, really? And how do we actually get more of it?

This is a question I’ve spent years reflecting on.

Back when I first started coaching men on how to be great with women, I asked over 500 women one simple question:

“What do you desire most in a man?”

The #1 answer wasn’t money.
It wasn’t looks.
It wasn’t status.

It was confidence.

But here’s the real question: What does that actually mean?
And is all confidence the same?

Why Confidence Is Misunderstood

Confidence is one of those words that gets thrown around daily, but few people actually understand it.

Everyone wants it.
Few know what it really is.
Even fewer know how to build it.
Almost none know how to keep it.

That’s why you hear shallow advice like: “Fake it till you make it.”

But here’s the truth: confidence is not something you attain once and keep forever. It’s rented—and rent is due every single day.

You don’t ...

The Man Who Rebuilds Himself

(The Fundamentals of Rising From Fear, Doubt & Self-Sabotage to Strength, Power & Freedom)

Hey bro,

At some point in life, every man gets knocked down.
Fear creeps in.
Doubt whispers.
The victim mentality takes over.
You feel trapped in your own head, sabotaging yourself, listening to that inner critic tell you that you’re not enough.

But here’s the truth: rebuilding yourself is 100% possible.
And it doesn’t take magic. It doesn’t take luck.
It isn't just available to those who are so-called 'naturally gifted' 

It takes principles. Fundamental qualities that, once embodied, make everything else possible.

The man who commits to these fundamentals will transform his life in 90 days or less. Because identity is just the actions you repeat. And actions are 100% under your control.

1. Learning

The archetype: The Student. The man who grows endlessly.

Learning isn’t collecting information—it’s changing behavior.
If you face the same situation twice and ...

 There is nothing more powerful than the words you speak.

Not your hustle.
Not your to-do list.
Not your 10-year plan.

Because before anything becomes real…
It is first spoken into existence.

“Let there be light.”
And there was light.

That’s not just a Bible verse.
That’s a blueprint.

Most men are walking around like spell casters who don’t know they’re casting spells.

They complain about how stuck they are…
They say “I’m broke,” “I’m tired,” “I don’t know what to do.”
They curse their own lives daily without realizing it.

And the universe?
It’s just listening. Taking notes.
Obeying the command of your voice.

Your words are the brush. Your reality is the canvas.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t know this.

I was saying all the “realistic” things:

• “Let’s be honest, this probably won’t work.”

• “It’s always one step forward, two steps back.”

• “I’m not where I want to be, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

But that “honesty” was just fear dress...

There was a time I was obsessed with fixing my financial life.

I’d stare at my bank account.
Feel the pressure build in my chest.
Worry, analyze, overthink, repeat.

The more I obsessed over my own financial problems…
The more they seemed to grow.

Until one day it hit me like a thunderbolt:

“The reason I haven’t solved my financial problem… is because I’m still trying to solve my financial problem.”

Money isn’t made by obsessing over your lack.
Money flows through service, through energy, and through alignment.

For years, I was trying to chase money…
When I should’ve been solving real problems for real people.

God/The Universe is the Source.

You are the resource.

• You have the means to rewrite your money story

• You have the imagination to dream boldly

• You have eyes to see opportunities

• You have ears to listen deeply

• You have the voice to speak life and truth

• You have the discipline to follow through

Your job is to serve. To create. To so...

Hey bro,

Are you secretly addicted to approval?

This is one of the biggest issues among my clients. 

We say we don’t care what others think…
But deep down?

We hesitate to speak the full truth.
We hold back what we really feel.
We say yes when we mean no.
We dim our energy just enough to not ruffle feathers.

Why?

Because we’ve been taught that love, respect, and success
come from being liked...
instead of being real.

I’ve seen guys stay in miserable relationships,
tolerate jobs that drain their soul,
bury their truth every single day,

And even sell their soul...

Just to avoid conflict.
Just to not be judged.
Just to feel safe in the illusion that they’re “doing it right.”

But here’s the thing:

Every time you betray yourself to be accepted by someone else,
you teach your nervous system that your truth isn’t safe.

And little by little…
You stop trusting yourself.

You start losing your power.
You second-guess your decisions.
You forget what it even feels like to move freely, boldly, instinc...

A few years ago, I had a moment.

I was sitting in my car, parked in front of some random grocery store.

Middle of the day. Nothing special.

I had money coming in. A decent place to live. My kid was healthy.
From the outside, life looked… fine. Stable.

But something in me felt dead.

Not broken.
Just… flat.

I looked around and thought—
“Is this it? Is this who I’ve become?”

Not because I hated my life.
But because I had stopped wanting more.

I wasn’t dreaming anymore.
I was maintaining.
Staying out of pain.
Keeping things “comfortable.”

But deep down, I knew what had really happened:

Somewhere along the line...
I stopped giving myself permission to want what I really wanted.

And here’s the wild part:
I wasn’t even aware of it.

Because I had replaced the fire with logic.
The desire with doubt.
The dreams with distractions.

If you’re still reading this, maybe you know that feeling.

You're not miserable.
You're not broken.
But you’re also not fully alive.

You're playing it sa...

Bro—

Let’s cut the bullshit.

The world will always sell us on the idea of comfort.
Work from home. Same routine. Instant delivery. Easy dopamine.
Safety. Convenience. Predictability.

But what if I told you—

Comfort is just a cage with softer walls.

Most guys don’t need another productivity hack or mindset shift.
What they need is to wake the fuck up from the trance of comfort.

Because here’s what comfort really does:

• Numbs your edge

• Shrinks your hunger

• Kills your instinct

• Robs your creativity

• Lowers your standards

• Puts your soul to sleep

And the worst part?

It convinces you that “this is good enough.”
That the flatness you feel is normal.
That “not being in pain” = “living a good life.”

But let me ask you this…

Are you actually happy?
Are you lit up?
Are you doing what you came here to do?
Are you proud of the man you see in the mirror?

Or are you just comfortable?

Here’s the thing—

The comfort you think is protecting you is actually steal...

Hey bro,

Let me ask you something real…

When’s the last time you said, “fuck it”… and just followed your gut?
No overthinking. No second-guessing.
Just raw instinct and pure YES.

For most guys, the answer is…
“Too damn long ago.”

As boys, we were fearless.

We leapt off roofs.
Chased dreams without logic.
Spoke up without overanalyzing how it would land.
We lived in the now—not five chess moves ahead.

But as we got older…
We started playing it safe.

We traded instinct for strategy.
Curiosity for caution.
Aliveness for control.

And eventually, we lost touch with our most powerful compass—
our intuition.

You know what I’m talking about.

That gut hit that says,
“Call her.”
“Book the flight.”
“Quit the job.”
“Start the thing.”

But instead of trusting it…

You wait.
You weigh the risks.
You google it to death.
You make a pros and cons list.

You make a ton of excuses... And before you know it, the moment’s gone.

Every time you ignore your gut, you weaken your edge as a man.

Your masculine edge i...