46 Behaviors That Are Killing Your Mojo

When you’re lit up—you feel healthy, strong, alive, grounded, turned on by life—you align with the natural flow of life and become magnetic without even trying.
Opportunities find you.
People feel your energy and are drawn to it.
You move through the world with natural confidence, authenticity, power, clarity, and presence.

But when your energy is drained, scattered, or suppressed…
Everything starts to feel like a struggle.
Women pull away.
Money stops flowing.
And life becomes heavy.

So many men are unknowingly leaking power in subtle ways that seem normal.
But normal doesn’t mean aligned.
It means disconnected.

Here’s a list of common behaviors I see draining men in the realms of dating, relationships, and sexual energy:

🖤 Dating & Relationships

1. Pursuing women out of loneliness – hoping their affection will fill the void of your disconnection from self, rather than building a connection from fullness.

2. Being someone you're not – dimming your light or wearing a mask just to be liked, while slowly abandoning your real self in the process.

3. Suppressing your truth – tiptoeing around conflict or pretending you're okay, all to avoid making waves or being seen as "too much."

4. Settling in relationships – staying in situations where you're not fully seen or respected, because the thought of being alone feels scarier than disconnection.

5. Performing to impress – using charm, looks, or strategies to win her over instead of simply showing up in your grounded presence and power.

6. Obsessing over unavailable women – repeating the familiar emotional pain of chasing someone who can’t (or won’t) choose you, mirroring unresolved childhood wounds.

7. Waiting for her text – watching your phone like your worth depends on her next message, outsourcing your self-esteem to her attention.

8. Fear of rejection – silencing yourself, playing small, or staying passive just to avoid the imagined sting of "no."

9. Sleeping with women you don’t respect – disconnecting sex from truth, ignoring your values for temporary comfort or validation.

10. Staying in situationships – avoiding the risk of real intimacy by entertaining unclear, undefined, and emotionally unsafe connections.

11. Saying “I’m fine” when you’re hurting – denying your own pain in an attempt to appear strong or unbothered.

12. Playing it cool – pretending you don’t care to avoid exposing how deeply you do, which only keeps you isolated.

13. Staying out of guilt – confusing obligation with commitment, betraying your truth to not hurt her feelings.

14. Trying to earn her love – hustling for affection like it’s a reward, believing you have to prove your value to be loved.

15. Feeling “never enough” – overgiving, overthinking, and over-efforting because deep down you believe you’re fundamentally unworthy.

16. Being overly available – prioritizing her needs above your own to the point of self-erasure, hoping it will make her stay.

17. Replaying a breakup on loop – torturing yourself with “what ifs” instead of grieving, healing, and creating space for something real.

18. Seeking closure from her – hoping for a final conversation that validates your worth, instead of giving that closure to yourself.

19. Blaming women for your pain – using bitterness to avoid confronting your own growth edge or emotional wounds.

20. Believing you’re unlovable – operating from the unconscious belief that you must be perfect to be worthy of love.

21. People-pleasing – morphing into who you think she wants, abandoning your truth just to feel accepted.

22. Saying yes when you mean no – suppressing your needs to avoid rejection, keeping the peace at the cost of your inner voice.

23. Staying in toxic relationships – tolerating emotional chaos or disrespect because you've normalized dysfunction.

24. Avoiding hard conversations – allowing resentment and distance to grow just to dodge discomfort or conflict.

25. Trying to fix her – using her brokenness as a distraction from your own inner work.

26. Not expressing needs – expecting her to read your mind, then feeling resentful when she doesn’t meet your unspoken expectations.

27. Being the emotional dumping ground – always listening, always supporting, but rarely being held or seen yourself.

28. Jealousy in love – reacting from a place of ownership and fear instead of trust and self-worth.

🔥 Sex, Masculinity & Desire (Expanded)

1. Using porn daily – draining your life force through artificial stimulation, while training your brain to fear real, vulnerable intimacy.

2. Feeling numb during sex – going through the motions without feeling deeply present, connected, or alive.

3. Faking confidence in bed – pretending to be in control while silently fearing you’re inadequate or about to be found out.

4. Avoiding sexual expression – suppressing your natural desire and erotic energy because you’re ashamed of being “too much.”

5. Guilt after hookups – using sex to avoid loneliness, only to feel emptier once the high fades and the shame returns.

6. Performing sexually – trying to impress her with technique instead of opening to real emotional connection and mutual pleasure.

7. Hiding your turn-ons – believing your unique desires are weird, wrong, or unworthy of being expressed.

8. Defining yourself by past failures – letting a bad experience define your masculinity and confidence in the bedroom.

9. Having sex for validation – seeking affirmation of your worth through conquest instead of choosing partners from alignment.

10. Fearing you’re not “man enough” – comparing yourself to porn stars, other men, or imagined expectations of masculinity.

11. Critiquing yourself during intimacy – judging your performance in real-time, which blocks genuine connection and flow.

12. Not expressing desires – hoping she’ll magically fulfill your needs without ever voicing them clearly or vulnerably.

13. Avoiding eye contact during sex – disconnecting from the soul of the moment because you’re afraid to be fully seen.

14. Feeling shame around fantasies – labeling your desires as “wrong” instead of getting curious about what they might reveal.

15. Using sex to cope – treating physical pleasure like a drug to numb loneliness, stress, or emptiness.

16. Sleeping with people you don’t respect – disconnecting your values from your actions, then wondering why you feel empty.

17. Paying for sex – outsourcing intimacy entirely, reinforcing the belief that real connection isn't available to you.

18. Scrolling Instagram or TikTok for hot girls – low-level stimulation that keeps you hooked on fantasy while avoiding real women and deeper intimacy.

These are all ways a man gives his power away.

The longer you live this way, the more misaligned and resentful you feel.
And the more you chase what should naturally flow to you.

But once you get honest…
Once you realign with who you really are…
That’s when things start moving.

It’s not about fixing yourself.
It’s about freeing yourself.

Talk soon,
—Cory